Friday, June 21, 2013

Wedding Musings

My cousin got married yesterday. She was beautiful. The ceremony was blessedly short. And an atheist ceremony. So that was cool to see. Hard, too, though. Realizing that dad won't be there to walk me down the aisle or dance with me. There was family drama, of course. Considering the fact that my cousin had *all* of her other cousins involved in some way, even a small way... Except for my brother and I. It hurts because that's just... the ways it's always been in the family.

I made some decisions about my own (hypothetical, imaginary) wedding, though. That made me feel better. Whoever I marry will walk my mum down the aisle. Brother will officiate. God-Brother 1 (which I've been told isn't a word, but his mother is my God-Mother... so it makes sense...) is going to walk me down the aisle. (I figure if his father was alive he would be the one to do it.) The dance I haven't figured out yet. Looking for suggestions, Internet!

About a month ago, I told co-worker I had a wedding to go to. She was far more excited than I was. She helped me find a dress, then decided that at this wedding, I was going to get laid. So she helped me find a bra and panties at Frederick's. I looked good. I got my hair and make up done. Granted, I was still weighing 275, so there's only so much hair and make up can do. Everyone said I looked really pretty. I felt fairly confident. Didn't get laid.

When I get back, it's all about working out. I know. I've said it before, but this time I'm serious. I'm done almost topping out my scale. I'm done with my bras cutting into me. I'm fixing this.

I'm going to finish my schooling and get into something I enjoy.

I'm also going to write every day. At least one page.

So. Working out, schoolwork, and writing. That is going to be my life for the foreseeable future. And hopefully when I've lost some weight I'll be able to get to work on the getting laid thing.

Read Neil Gaiman's most recent book, The Ocean at the End of the Lane. It was amazing. So, so, so good.

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